to-do: get 4.6 CAP for Y1S2
posted by misanthrope on Thursday, December 26, 2013 5:22 AM (
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Yesterday
I received my results for my first semester in NUS. My results were much worse
than I’d expected them to be, and I wasn’t expecting them to be very high in
the first place. I was very upset and disappointed with myself, and started to
have a lot of self-doubts again. How the fuck did my results turn out like this?
Why the fuck am I so dumb? What’s wrong with me? Why do I flunk all my exams?
Why can’t I do well like the others?
I was
also very disappointed because my fucking horrible results meant I could no
longer proceed with the things I wanted to do, like applying for an internship
in my summer holidays and applying for SEP. I felt so lost, I didn’t know what
to do. What the fuck can I do anyway?
Nothing much I think, except to fucking study hard and get at least 4.4 average
for the next 2 semesters. Otherwise I’m really fucking screwed for the rest of
my NUS life. I really really need a miracle for the next 2 semesters, especially the next semester. I’m really very worried now. Sigh. Cannot slack already next semester.
I don’t
have anyone to blame but myself. I can’t put the blame on anyone. I didn’t
class part, I didn’t give good presentations, I can’t write well, I have poor
time management during exams, I am really inefficient at doing work, I can’t
give impromptu answers (probably because I don’t get much human interaction in
my daily life), I didn’t make notes and revise regularly, I don’t work smart,
and lastly I am just plain dumb most of the fucking time. I really, really, really gotta pull my socks up for the
rest of my NUS life. This cannot do, it really can’t. And I am fucking sick of
getting fucking lousy results. I can do
better than this. I definitely can, I need to believe in myself and rectify all
my mistakes and poor habits.
So, I'm gonna
chiong with all my might in Y1S2. If I screw the next semester up again, that's
it. I'm totally screwed for the rest of my NUS life. Imma compile a list of
good habits to take up so that I can be a more productive and efficient person
once I'm done researching which bloody module to take for the next semester.
Actually I don't know why I'm so troubled over this lol. I can just S/U it if I
don't get an A- at least for the module haha. But still I must be strategic in
choosing my mod!